Downsizing Donna

  How embarrassing! I ran into a lady Chris K. who was in my TOPS group when I was the leader, she didn't even recognize me! YIKES! Now mind you I was in this group for like two years, leader for one and she didn't know me. She kept looking me up and down, I told her I gained all the weight back because I felt like an ass. She looked wiped out but still thin (side note: her daughter just got diagnosed with breast cancer). She mentioned to me that the group is now meeting at 2'oclock at the VFW. To be honest I wasn't listening, I told her I just don't have the gumption to start weight loss at this point. She said to me "Why don't you try and come back at the first of the year that that is a good time to restart". I know the weighing in each week is really helpful and at 200lbs I am at a crazy point with my weight - I will think about it.

  As I mentioned I hate holiday's, they make me so sad but yesterday went really well. I felt good, the kids seemed to enjoy the time I spent with them. We did have one hiccup, someone said something and some home my oldest granddaughter said that my son (her father) doesn't like her! We all said nooooo, that's not true but she ran off crying. I felt so bad for her, she really feels that way and I see it honestly my son is more attached to my middle granddaughter and my grandson. He just doesn't have the same bonding with her, she is very smart, and you would say a know-it-all type child which grates on his nerves. I have noticed it a lot and I have brought it to his attention. My daughter-in-law also doesn't bond well with her either, it happens when you have three kids I guess, there will always be the one outsider. I pray she doesn't hold on to this feeling her whole life! I will from this time forth make an effort to make her feel special!! Life is craz...

  Mickey's Merry Christmas Party 20022 We only have a few more days until we go to Disney World. I have so many issues with this trip! I am scared about all of it. I pray that I get through it without causing any issues for my family. I am so out of shape I pray that I can walk the park and keep up with everyone. We are staying over which has a whole host of other problems mainly the dam dog! Lexie scares the shit out of me, Tom wants to keep her in the crate, but I can't imagine having her spend that much time in there. If we don't put her in than we risk, her tarring apart the entire house and if she gets to the other dogs, she will kill them. So, what do we do? We are hoping to put up another door on the dog room in hopes that keeps her out but will that help I don't know. I totally cannot even remotely concentrate on fun with this trip with so many things that are scaring the hell out of me about it. My daughter who is...

  The days go by so fast, It feels like the movie "Groundhog Day". Like today it was very cold out this morning, so we went into work an hour later. We worked till about 3 made roughly $125. Minus our expenses like gas, buying horse feed and a few other little things and our profit for the day was $12! Isn't that sickening?  How do you every get ahead, when so many things need your attention? Like our car needs to get in for repairs, we don't know if it is flat spotted tires or possible a broken front axle. We keep running it probably making it worse, but I keep asking to stop at the repair guy to make an appointment and my husband keeps making excuses not to stop.  Our mobile home is in horrible shape, to be honest if someone were to buy it they would bulldoze it and start new. The toilets don't flush, we thought it was the septic tank we had it pumped out but of course that wasn't the issue. To turn on the water you have to go out...

  I love this quote! It is so true, the only person who can blame for your failures is you or the triumphs are all you. At the end of the day it all falls on you. One of my examples is - We were at Disney World I was having heat stroke, I waved over to my husband that I needed him to help me. He rolled his eyes at me, and I passed out. A man passing by grabbed me and then my husband made it over to help me. I came to quickly; the medics came and took my blood pressure etc. I needed a wheelchair to get out of the park and my granddaughters were crying their eyes out seeing nana hit the ground by that is another post. Needless to say, I learned that day your life is your problem. Nobody gives a shit about you, you have to take care of yourself! I have been so aware of this even more as I get older, who is going to take care of you as you age? This day and age nobody wants to have to take care of someone who is old and sick, it is a burden. My whole life ...

 

  Most people would be overjoyed knowing her whole family was getting together to enjoy an evening at Disney Worlds Magic Kingdom but not me! Between you and me I am dreading it! I am so overweight and out of shape how will I be able to keep up? Isn't that just so sad. I honestly think I have type 2 diabetes, my mother-in-law had it and everything she explained to me it what I am feeling, the fuzzy head type thing, no energy etc. I have been trying to eat better, healthier but really nothing is helping. I have done a bit of walking but not on a regular basis so that isn't helping. The rest of my family are so looking forward to it so I act like I am excited in front of them, but I am not. To top it off I am dreading having any family pictures taken of me, can you imagine this might be the last trip we all take together (since my daughter is still talking about moving away) and I am worried about how fat I will look in pictures! I know something is wrong with me ...

  Here we are November 8th, and another storm is moving its way to Florida! They say she will be hurricane Nicole by landfall. Feels like we just got over hurricane Ian now this, it is so draining. I bought a bag of cookies & chips since I worry if the electricity goes out again, we need nibblies. I have been trying to be good about eating junk food, i opt for grapes or bananas but we are taking a storm here we need the good stuff for that. I have been checking my weight daily and it is going nowhere! On my scale I am 196 lbs. most days so there you have it. I have been doing a lot of walk at work doing shops for customers which is a lot of back and forth in Walmart and at night I have been doing a exercise video for a few minutes anyway but still no moving that scale down. On the stress front of course we have the storm, I was looking at a post on Facebook and it showed the high wind amounts expected. I showed my husband, and he says,...

  We got our EBT card for the loss of food from Hurricane Ian, in the application I put down $500 for the loss of the food in our fridge & freezers. What a mistake I should have asked for a lot more as groceries prices have skyrocketed! These items right here in this picture cost $22.84 (3 cans of albacore tuna, 3 baked beans & 4 Bar S hotdogs)! How can that be? This really scares me, how will be able to afford food in the future. I will really have to plan out what I will buy with the $500 to get the most for the money.

I weighed in at Walmart today in the morning, it said 194.38 Lbs. I was happy to see that at least the scale is moving down a tiny bit. It made my day a little bit brighter. I came home from work had dinner than I did go for a walk around the block. I kept up a "fast" pace for me, I made it, but I just need to keep it up each day. BMI - 32.2 "Poor" Blood Pressure - 121/87 "High" Pulse - 99 Dinner - "Hamburger" on a white roll, potato salad, macaroni salad, baked beans & chips as you can see not really diet friendly. Then I had my oatmeal with dark chocolate chips that I am addicted to and have to have multiple times a day.

  Day after day I get no further to my goal and it is so frustrating! It is 4:30pm I just had dinner and I weighed in 198.4lbs.  The books I took out at the library are okay, but it seems like you can find a book to agree with any type of diet you want to go on. I know everyone is different and as you age it is harder to lose the weight, but I think we all know you need to get some exercises in to make any dent in your weight loss goal. Anyway, I went on amazon unlimited and signed up for the 2 months free of kindle books so I will read some more books. Bla bla bla all talk I am! I didn't go trick or treating with my kids & grandchildren yesterday. I was having a lot of dizziness which always scares the shit out of me. I hated to miss it since it was my grandson's first time getting dressed. He loved it they tell me! I was just so sad to miss these once in a lifetime family times. You only go thru life once and if you sit on the side...