Downsizing Donna

  I feel so bad, I have let my daughter down! Years ago, I took her & my son to the dentist when we had insurance and then when we didn't, we didn't take them unless they had pain. I think the last time she went was at least 10 or more years ago. They couldn't even get her to do x-rays she was gagging and carrying on they couldn't even read the x-ray. They ended up giving her pain medication instead of penicillin! After that she wouldn't go, she would suffer with toothache pain when she would get it. Anyway, fast forward to today she is now 28 years old and needs major dental work! They did massive x-rays of her whole mouth and the dentist when over her options. I was sitting out in the waiting room during the x-rays and the gal came out and I heard her talking about my daughter saying how she needed so much work done, and she was so young! It was like a punch in the gut for sure! I felt so bad that I let her down all those years when I should...

  Holy Shit, 206 lbs.!! I jumped on the scale since I have been eating like a wild woman these past days and sure enough eating cookies, ice cream cones, tons of crab salad do not go without consequences. My stress is hitting on all cylinders also, the car was shutting off and we would have trouble getting it to start back up so we had to quit work early because we could not risk having an order in the car and not being able to deliver it. I am going over tons of stuff in my mind which is driving me nuts. The diet book I bought I don't think is going to be of help. I am tossing around the idea of trying Weight Watchers. I don't know what to do, my friend Sheryl is doing the weight loss shots, and she is losing at least a pound a week. I feel like such a failure.! Fighting is breaking out all over the world, I just don't understand why we all can't live in peace. I am so scared of what will be coming on that front, will the United States get involved? I...

  This is a picture I made with my camera, If only I could look like this!! My husband saw the pictures I was making and he says no wrinkles vavavoom. What the hell, that really made me feel like crap! It is amazing how cutting words can be. I was talking today with this kid worker friend of ours who is about 35 years old. Well, he was eating french fries and I asked where he got them and he says to me "You don't need them"....... that hurt. I know I am fat, but you don't have to throw it into my face. I got the diet book and I am disappointed in it already. I don't have any idea how a person who works can pull off this diet. He wants you to start eating a 10 am how will that be possible while I am in the car? I am going to keep reading and see if I can make it work some how.

 Feeding Frenzy! We took another day off of work, and all day I have been eating through the refrigerator. I have non stopped ate all day, it is crazy how much enjoyment I get from eating. It really soothes me, you could almost say it medicates me. Isn't that strange to say but it is true. I  HAVE to find other ways to ease the stress in my day other than eating. I really need to get out there and walk. I used to walk 20 to 30 minutes a day and it does help settle my nervous.  As I am sitting here typing this I am looking at my belly, it looks like a pregnant belly! I hate that it is so big, crazy! I keep hoping that this new diet book will be a God send and get my going on my weigh loss journey!!