Downsizing Donna

 I would have never thought I would reach 200lbs!! I wanted to post these absolutely embarrassing pictures to see if it would spur me on to get back on the weight loss band wagon. I look at myself in the mirror and I don't recognize the person in the mirror. The funny thing is I look at her in the mirror and it is like and out of body experience, I don't think it is me. I still think of myself and the 145lb. gal who enjoyed buying clothes and felt spunky again. I know HOW I got to this point, too many donuts, chocolates, cookies, overeating everything. and way too much sitting. It just seems ludicrous that after all that work, I had to do to lose that weight I would just throw it all away. The scary thing is looking at these pictures really doesn't make me horrified! WHY?????

  My old TOPS group went to SRD, that is where those you lost the most get awards and such. When I was leader, we had planned to go but then the covid virus turned up and everything came to a screeching halt. I was not going to move from TOPS to KOPS even though I had lost 45lbs. I wanted to lose more..... funny how I would jump for joy at that 45lbs. weight loss. Anyway, the group posted pictures of some of the members who attended and I have to say I felt so depressed! I mean on the one hand I am happy for them, they are still hanging in there losing weight getting healthy but on the other hand it reminded me that DAM I sure let myself down and seeing them looking great hurts. See being fat hurts!

  This picture was taken this past Easter 2022, I know I am fat but DAM this picture really shows how out of shape I am. Look at those fat legs, they look swollen to me. Being this heavy does not allow me to be the Nana I want to be. You would think that would be a gear shifter for me to get my butt going on losing weight but no still eating out of control. Don't you wonder why? I know I fight with myself every day about food but I just don't know how to change my way of thinking. There are just so many things going against my losing weight, I know you are saying excuses but it is true. My stress is through the roof right now, yours too? I mean how can anyone not be going crazy with worry. Our job is in jeopardy with all that is happening with how high and fast the prices are raising on food & gas no one wants to tip the delivery drivers and the base pay is just so low considering we are using our car & our gas. Then am I stocking up enough food? My kids are just ...

I really don't know even where to start! This world we live in right now has gone nuts!! Pandemics, Wars, Nuclear Weapons, Food Shortages, Skyrocketing Gas Prices, ect. every day when I wake up I hold my breath to see what else has happened. If you are like my I am mentally, physically & emotionally drained! I just can't take any more bad news. I am so worried not so much for myself but for my children and grand children, what is life going to be like for them in the future??? I don't think things have ever been this bad before in the history of the existence of the humane race! Isn't it crazy to even think that, but it is true.  So how to deal with it all...... being a stress eater needless to say I am now obese. Food is my best friend. It makes me feel okay for a little bit but the after affects are horrible. I am 5'5 and my last weigh in at the Walmart blood pressure/weight machine I was 192 lbs. my blood pressure is high. I will check in with the machine in ...